The Difference Between Good Girls and Bad Girls

What can be said ... its the new year and I think im going to be bad this year so why not have some bad girls to accompany me read on ....



Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot.
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.

Good girls wax their floors.
Bad girls wax their bikini line.

Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies.
Bad girls know they could do it better.

Good girls wear white cotton panties.
Bad girls don’t wear any.

Good girls think they’re not fully dressed without a strand of pearls.
Bad girls think they’re fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.

Good girls pack their toothbrush.
Bad girls pack their diaphragms.

Good girls own only one credit card and rarely use it.
Bad girls own only one bra and rarely use it.

Good girls wear high heels to work.
Bad girls wear high heels to bed.

Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance.
Bad girls think no place is the wrong place.

Good girls prefer the missionary position.
Bad girls do too, but only for starters.

Good girls go to the party, go home, then go to bed.
Bad girls go to the party, go to bed and then go home.

Good girls say no.
Bad girls say when, when?

Merry Xmas

Another xmas another year and things still havent changed. there is always some mother fucker who tries to ruin Xmas for everyone because they had a joyless cunt of a life and everyone else needs to share in the fun.

Who else is going to explain to these ppl eh? but hey on a brighter note there are some gem of ppl in my life these days which makes it all bearable. one quick shag in the morning with a lass from the past and things were rolling unfortunately now i have contracted a cold from the silly biatch lol. ill have to thank her the next time i see her.

so onto new years and maybe next year things will be different.

Cheers and Merry Xmas
ITS A CELBERATION BITCHES

Forget Shaadi.com

Well today i was going through my friends list and in utter sheer boredom i said why not make some friends on Hi5. so i started browsing the network and there are so many single people on here it makes my head spin. now a few months back, my mom and me had joked about Shaadi.com and how it could be useful in helping people to find their one true love lol.

forget shaadi.com, this thing is free and it might even work. scary eh? i hope Hi5 pays me for this plug but i dont think it will happen

Ten days to Xmas

MEL

www.hi5.com

An interesting year

When you look back on it, this year has been disastrous for all places in the world. Tsunami's, extraordinary hurricanes, floods and even simplistic rain. What a crazy place we live in. im just glad i didnt get to see the tsunamis but the rest i have seen lol. maybe its cause im a piscian lol but i dont believe in that stuff.

off to eat a pizza, its time to regroup and get ready for 2006, promises to be good but we'll see.

MEL

Green Valley Resorts

Well it was a long time coming I guess and we all took a trip out to a resort called Green Valley. Very nice place and had a good setting as well. Works out best with a lot of people, around 1500 INR per head.

What was good about the place?

- Pool
- tennis, cricket, basketball
- The most quintessential element? Serenity

this place totally rocks when it comes to quiet and peacefullness i totally recommend it if you want a nite out with the lads and no hassle from the outside world. take ur booze, eatables and mixers and uve got a good nite on ur hands.

on a more brighter note, we all were out of the office and some of us bonded better than others and now i have established the fact and made the point clear that you dont need to understand a language to be able to convey a message to person that speaks a foreign language.

totally deserved weekend and the best part was it was out of b'lore. roads were shitty and the weather was crappy on day one as i was sick but the next day was absolutely splendid.

cheers to convergys and the ppl that made it from Wave 25

More to come.... GMX or GIMP project now online and active

Till the next rant
Melly

The Unexplicable Relief of A Dosa

This morning i was having a horrific day, the morning meeting that was supposed to take 25 minutes went on for an hour and half, the Rickshaw Drivers Association of Idiots decided to be their wholesome selves again. but, in the midst of all this i visited a breakfast stall in the middle of some dump that smelled like crap and one bite of the dosa and i was in pure heaven lol.

Its amazing what joy food can bring you. Totally good day and one up for the dosa although i still think bacon and eggs would have rocked my world.

19 Days to Xmas
MEL

The Beauty of Forums

Every once in a while people tend to get stuck on technical issues or even non-technical issues that just baffle the hell out of them. whats the solution to this problem? Online Forums. For example, a few years back i was having issues with importing transparent PNG format files to my Dreamweaver from my then Fireworks 4 program in the Macromedia family of products.

I looked around on the internet and browsed so many sites that didnt give me a clear cut issue. all the articles that i found were totally useless and only reiterated my problem. some said to install client-side apps and resolve the issue, some said it wasnt possible and then there was one site that said that upgrading my Dreamweaver would solve the problem.

Then one day I said to myself, Hey Macromedia makes it so they should know how to fix it and it was in this spirit that i went to their website and joined the forums to which i have gotten so accustomed that it makes no sense to look elsewhere for solutions.

But on a much larger note, the concept of on-line forums totally rocks. there is always a good chance that other ppl around the world are facing the same issues you are. infact if you find a forum that has people that are experimenting then you can resolve issues as well. I think most of us dont have a clue about the great potential sitting out there on the internet.

However, remember one thing, if you cant get it free then you might have to pay for it; which isnt a bad option if you are really interested in getting help on a regular basis from people much more experienced than you or even people that have expertise in your particular problem thru personal experience.

Till the next rant

Mel-Out

P.S. Crouchy scored over the weekend woohoooo

Interesting Movie

Well i was watching Channel [V] the other day (AIDS Awareness Day) and i happened to notice that the movie revolved around four cultures ... Africans, Indians, Spanish and Russians. Now the premise of the movie was to make ppl aware of aids in the world and so it showed how ppl from the three cultures actually spread the disease to each other all over the world in a series of events.

totally got me shocked considering the lifestyle most of us lead these days. even with protection ur still susceptible to that 1% chance it wont work and then what? turn into a bag of bones and pass away? some ppl might find that comforting because the way the world and economics are going these days i wonder if its going to be worth sticking around for or even bringing a child into this mess.

Sometimes I think we all need to get a reality-slap and what better way than a life threatning situation. More to come soon

Cheers till the next rant
MEL

P.S. Use CONDOMS they actually save lives

Excuses For A Better Life

I know its been a long time since the last post but hey theres a good reason for that, its called having fucked up work hours and an accompanied lack of sleep. So what do I have on my gripe plate today you ask?

If you work in India you'll soon discover a few things about the local populus that will blow ur mind. For one, nothing ever comes to you on time. The second thing that seems to totally bother me is how people seem to justify their job dissatisfaction by complaining about things that are so trite it doesnt matter.

"oh hes not giving me a raise so i have to quit"
"im better than this"
"I have more experience so I should get paid more"
"Why am i wasting my time here?"

I say if ur truly unhappy then grow some balls and get out or else shut ur filthy mouth and live with it. The problem with indians in general is that they believe that the jobs with brand names are the key to success in most fields. this is like believing in the existence of the tooth fairy. its a myth and hey it may not be true. by working for IBM are u a better person? because u make more money? are u going to be the CEO before u die? if this is the way you think then i dont care what country ur from, ur misinformed.

i say get to the point and grow some balls. u want to show the world ur different then do it dont complain that ur not getting whats coming to u because no one can change that fact but u.

SO FUCKING GROW UP AND BECOME AN ADULT

Cheers
MEL

Happy Thanksgiving

Although im two continents away the concept of thanksgiving is still alive in me. The sad part? that there is no turkey at home today but hey theres loads of alcohol and the weekend is just a good time as any to have this festival. so heres to yanks killing red indians and drinking and eating over it.

Cheers
MEL

IT Infrastructure? Hehe

Well ive been in b'lore for about a month now and its becoming more and more apparent to me that this state really is oblivious to the raw potential that is availible to it. B'lore could be the best city in India if it got its act together and got rid of some of the minor facts that are hindering its progress in the field of IT infrastructure.

Availibility of Facilities to Residents
------------------------------------
Well to be honest with you im quite disturbed about the fact that most of the software companies in b'lore reside on a road where restaurants arent plenty, moreover, residential areas are more prominent which also makes sense but instead of putting residential areas close to workplaces, restaurants and areas of relaxation and leisure make more sense. We all know the wonderful messes that we have at work and how easily one can get bored of the menu at work despite the freshness and variety in food availible.

Learn to speak more than one language it really helps
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B'loreans really need to understand that Kanada isnt the one-to-end-all language and the necessity to learn hindi or english should be an important factor in hiring people for any public service. but alas this is an unrealistic demand in a realistic world where most of the people that own restaurants only speak the local language or broken hindi and can say the proverbial 'hello' word.

Respect Everyone
------------------
For some odd reason, people from india and mind u only people from india will speak in their native tongue around foreigners. In my entire lifetime of travelling I have never seen any other culture do that unless you let them to. And what do they do when you tell them to behave and stop talking in their language they talk even more. Do we honestly think that foreigners want to invest in our country when we are consistently talking in our own language amongst them? take a scenario, lets say two chinese people are doing business with you and they are always talking in chinese around you but when you come around they stop talking and smile and shake your hand, fishy isnt it? well take a few steps in the right direction.


Lastly, on a personal note, people all over the world need to learn one very quintessential social attribute and that is ..... CIVIC SENSE/DUTY. if you throw garbage on the road then it makes it ok to actually let other people do it too. keeping a city clean isnt difficult if you actually take the time to be a little literate and throw garbage where its meant to be thrown. now this also goes hand in hand with having the facility to actually dispose of waste as well which brings me back to infrastructure all over again.

In a few more years, b'lore is going to have to sell people to make money because at the rate this is going some other city in india like hydrebad or chennai is going to step in and do the right thing and if that happens God help B'lore.

Cheers
MEL

Interesting New Age Gaming

Today i saw the first screen of Joanna Dark's Perect Dark Zero. Very cool stuff for people that arent so into gaming and have missed it from their childhood to present, Perfect Dark was a game developed by a small company called Rare for a console called the N64 also popularly known as Nintendo 64. In that time and age it was considered ahead of its time in terms of FPS (First Person Shooter) but alas times changed and Microsoft came in with this game called HALO that revolutionized the gaming market. now back to the topic at hand.

PDZ is a very polished game from what i can tell and the screens and vids that i saw today are clear demonstration of where MS is heading with XBOX 360. very cool stuff cant wait to see more but that will have to wait and if it ever comes to b'lore and i can only hear disappointment because what fun is HALO unless uve played it online or how good fun is Splinter Cell w/o the online feature?.

Only time will tell and the release of PS3 will also see how the market shifts once the Master Chief (HALO Hero) plays alongside Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid) . Personally, I prefer Japanese market gaming to MS but dont tell that to my employer lol cause they work for MS hehe.

till the next rant
MEL

Song of the moment : Led Zepplin -- Thats the Way

Weekend Splurge

I know its been a long time since i posted but hey the weekend was on and there was loads to be done so i had no time to post. I still havent gone and watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Wine He Can't Drink Cause He's Underage movie yet lol.

On a much brighter note my weekend went very well considering the fact that I was under the impression that b'lore didnt have much to offer. I visited b'lore central and garuda mall this weeknd and was quite pleased with the prices they had to offer. not too bad considering b'lore is a pseudo metropolitan city.

Now onto the rant of the day ... Rickshaw drivers in B'lore

Whoever said cabs were a public service wasnt talking about b'lore. it seems that rickshaw drivers in b'lore are working for themselves and not for the employer that hires them lol. If you want to catch a ride home in the evening before 9pm then its ok but after 9m be ready to pay double and sometimes triple of what you would normally pay. ridiculous you say? i say yes it is. But get this, some of them dont have a watch so you can do tell them its 8:20pm when its actually 9:15 pm lol and they believe you lol. so sad. add to that, the taxi service out here is good but its costly and the rickshaw drivers are total assholes so that leaves u with one option

PERSONAL TRANSPORT ... which is also going to cost a fortune considering that the price of gas is going up evreyday and you need to take care of ur vehicle. so in all respects ur screwed on transport unless ur lucky 365 days of the year and get a cab/rickshaw driver that is on-time., efficient and doesnt overcharge.

the solution to this problem.
Someone can run these guys into the ground by providing a cab service from all the hot spots in b'lore. for example, if you started a cab service from Forum to anywhere in b'lore witha price that was Rs. 10 over the normal price of the cabs at anytime of the day you'd be a hit infact ppl would sign up for it. its like taking a cab at the airport in bombay. its fixed and you cant argue about it.

But alas this is an idealistic thought in a not so idealistic city lol.

till the next rant

Cheers
MEL

Slipping An Indianism In Someones Drink

Hola,
Well yesterday was an interesting experience. for the first time in PST (program specific training) we had a group session and it turned from a fun-intended session into what can only be described as animal-kingdom overload.

anyways, the point of this blog is to explain things that should never be done lol. ill take two examples and we'll see what happens at the end. The topic under discussion is movies ... so lets choose two movies. One from the English genre and one from the Hindi genre. Now to be totally fair in this aspect i have chosen two movies that are considered classics in the two cinemas == The Godfather (Francis Ford Copolla) and Sholay (Ramesh Sippy). But before i go ahead id like to tell you'll why i chose these two movies and what I am going to do with them.

Today in class someone said that they would have liked to have Shah Rukh Kahn (forgive the spelling i dont care much for this clown) and Aishwarya Rai in Jame's Camerons "Titanic" so this got me a bit disturbed for the mere fact that Titanic is long to begin with and adding these two to the movies makes it even more longer and unbearable. However, this got me thinking on how to rectify this problem and make sure the concerned parties understand the dire ramifications it would have on each industry.

The Godfather
==========
When Mario Puzzi wrote this book he was under the influence of italian immigrants to the US and how they faced a tough time before the instillment of the mob and organized crime popularly know as Il Mafioso(The Mafia). Now the roles in this movie are so intricate and need to be played with sheer splendour that putting a man like Marlon Brando or Al Pacino in there makes total sense. The acting is superb, moreover the actors have Italian heritage (well not all of them but that discussion is not for now) and the ambience of the movie isnt ruined by dancing, song singing and other related Bollywood drama. The movie sells for what its worth: good acting, great storyline, impecable family values and its an italian mobster movie.

Sholay
=====
Enter Bollywood and the concept of friendship. Its amazing how many people in India can recite the dialogues and sing the songs from this movie. it truly is a great movie that describes how friends can overcome any adversity to finally win in the end. Amitabh Bachan and Darmendra do a splendid job in both running around trees and acting. Moreover, they are able to get away with silly action sequences and other such thrilling and nail biting instances. The movie leaves you feeling all happy inside and gives you that need to hug your friend and say 'Ive got the best mate in the world lets go have a beer on me'.

Hybrid Time
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Now what would happen if for some reason we had the movies main actors switch the movies they were in. Can you imagine the look on Copolla's face if he ever directed Amitabh? or the amount of seriousness that would have destroyed Sholay if Pacino got angry in a scene? i sure can. so instead of saying anymore to shock the fans of either movie im only going to say this.

DONT SUPERIMPOSE INDIAN ACTORS ON HOLLYWOOD MOVIES AND VICE VERSA. AND IF YOU WATCH A MOVIE MADE IN INDIA THAT IS A HOLLYWOOD RIP-OFF AND VICE VERSA DONT GIVE IT PRAISE BECAUSE IT'S NOT THE MORALLY CORRECT THING TO DO.


When Sarkar came out i actually took the time to watch it and realized that they can never capture that aspect of the Godfather and why? well the more important question is why not? we have the same family values, we share a rich culture and yet we havent made anything as solid and so concrete to show the rest of the world and say here is our underworld and how it operates is how a man should take care of his family and make sure no one fucks with him.

When that question is answered and fully resolved I believe that Indian Cinema will no longer be called Bollywood and we will have people that go to watch a movie in theatres because they want to see the acting and not to see silly item numbers.

Cheers and Best Wishes
MEL

Customer Service Non-Existent in Karnataka

Its amazing the differences one can spot in customer service after travelling quite a bit. For example, in the states, even a guy who owns an openair hotdog stand has more couth and business sense than a little on-the-side hotel in Karnataka. Sometimes i wonder where these peoople get off thinking that you wont survive or be able to satisfy ur daily nutritional intake if you dont go to them.

Yesterday, i felt like eating something non-vegetarian so i call up a hotel that i know for a fact has the words 'Free Home Delivery' on their menu but when i call them up they say that their delivery boy is help up in some place that is quite far and that they will only be able to deliver the food 2hrs later. so i say thats fine because i have alot of time to spare and i really want to eat something non-veg. only after taking my order and realizing that it is too small does he start making fusses. he says that he will come to my house in a rickshaw(tricycle motorvehicle) and then he will ask me to pay the fare for food that im ordering from a Free home delivery hotel. i say total BOLLOCKS.

Same scenario, Melbourne Florida. i ordered a cup of soup and got it delivered to my home no questions asked. why the difference in service? i believe that people think that their businesses are safe with the customers that come in every day and kiss their stupid arses. if there was a way to shut down businesses because of poor service i would have shut down alot of places around the area im living in. it is just pure pathetic. indians can cook and hence dont eat out much but when u do decide to spend the buck u work for u should get what is offered and if u say free home delivery then it should be adhered to.

And to make matters worse the arsehole talks in his native language instead of hindi or english eventhough he can speak both very well. tsk tsk tsk. im going to get his phone number and post it to a local newspaper and see what they do but the problem here is no one is afraid. the people at work are not consistently scared of their job security, hell some of them are on the way out, they arent scared if they mistreat a customer in restaurants.

Hence i say Customer Service Non-Existent in Karnataka for people that dont speak the language and are looking for a place to eat and pass the time try catching a flight out of Karnataka it might be cheaper than the grief you face at a local restaurant run by idiotic bangloreans.

Till the next rant
Mel Out

Song of the Moment -- Coldplay:Fix You

Welcome To Day One

Well its been a while since ive started living in Bangalore and i think its a good idea to document the funnies and other important events during my stay here lol hopefully someone else can take humor away from this or even learn a lesson or two lol so here goes and hope you stay along for the ride.

Cheers
Melroy Coelho

P.S. ive got some pictures as well so dont worry if you dont like to read im taking care of you visual learners as well.