The Way Of Steel

"I will have died a thousand times and it will still not be enough for me to forget"

-- Based on pure fiction and non-homicidal behavior. Any resemblance to modern day events are your own personal thoughts and being the open minded writer that I am I will leave them as just that. Your thoughts. --

Two Years Ago
-----------
Christmas Eve is a time for families and loved ones. Strange how societal norms are merely just phrases conjured up by some drunk individual who sounded philosophical while drinking eggnog and making out with his partner for the night. These are the thoughts that run through my mind as the Katana in my left hand awaits its usefulness in my goal for the night.

Four Years Ago
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My name is not important. Neither are the names of my wife or her secret lover. I realized all this two years ago when I found out that she had been cheating on me. I still remember the smell of the roses I had picked up from O'Hare, the cab ride home, the sound of gravel crunching beneath my new Hugo Boss shoes and last but not least the sight of her making out with him in my kitchen with the windows open for the world to see. However, the realization that my marriage was in the gutter was something I had felt a year into my marriage. What consumed me that day was far more dangerous and more vicious than the simple pain that a loved one feels when betrayal is thrown in their face. Instead, I watched them with the hope that I would be noticed and the entire episode would unfold into a shouting contest with a few apologies thrown in to make it seem plausible that any remorse was felt. What greeted me however, was them running across my kitchen (yes, my kitchen) and then into the living room and finally upstairs. I looked down at the gravel beneath me and remembered how she had told me that it was less of a burden on me had I hired a professional to do it. A tear rolled down my cheek as I watched my entire marriage unfold before me in the ocean that allowed my cornea to see the outside world. I had returned home early with the intention of surprising her but I guess there were things that even I was not prepared for. I swallowed what was left of my emotions and left my house.

My walk back to my watch retail store, which i owned, seemed more tiring than the time I had taken her on a hiking trip in the Himalayas. It had been her dream ever since she was a child to go on that trip. My physical prowess matched that of a 10 year old but I managed to get a trainer and move my way up the ladder so that she could get the dream she always wanted. It was in the cold air that the Nepalese found like a summer walk in Manhattan that she transformed from my girlfriend to my wife. I sat at my desk and pondered on all the wrongs I must have done to her for me to deserve the punishment I had just been dealt. She was monetarily taken care of by everything I could possibly muster from the bank and my personal savings. She had stopped making love to me because she felt that it was something we needed to chalk out during the week. Yet, I loved her ...

It was in the dark confines of my watch repair cubicle that my mind snapped internally and the rest can only be coined as Focussed Insantiy.

Three Years Ago
---------------
Its been almost a year since I had my visual episode on my front yard. Since then, I have joined a Kubodo arts club and picked Kendo as my desired martial art of choice. I have even graduated to a level that my instructor stated,can only be reached by sheer devotion to my craft. What happened to my wife and her secret lover you ask? Nothing. I simply wiped my tears drank some whiskey and brushed it all off as if I had just watched Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet go at it again and putting the television off ended all my anguish. I have been on a cardio program that now allows me to run for 45 minutes non-stop without breaking a sweat. My wife continually asks me why I keep cleaning the house with the maid but I tell her that I am a man who enjoys the minute intricacies and so I like helping my non-english-speaking maid clean the house, the overpaid bitch. The only thing my wife does not complain about is the large pieces of meat I buy every week and chop into small pieces with the precision of a master chef. Her eyes only light up when she sees me clinically tear a whole animal into pieces so fine and so perfect that the meal cooked after seems like a formality of the process. I have also learned that her secret lover, who she still sees, works as a real estate agent and that he lives alone. How perfect. My work in the watch shop has allowed me the pleasure of meeting many people, one of whom is a clay pot maker. He has even lent me the keys to his garage and the use of his kiln that he uses to blast fire his pots for glazing. I have even started reading my newspaper on the porch with a notepad to study the everyday movements of my neighborhood and all this is neatly fed into a Microsoft Excel sheet that I then use to understand trends.My wife has repeatedly asked me to buy her a car but I have refused on the grounds that I like driving and can easily take time out of my day for her to get her to any destination of her choice. My reading has improved and my understanding of the human anatomy is now almost at par with most average medical practitioners. The only flaw in my entire work this year is my inability to twist my Katana effectively with one hand. Patience will get me to where I need to be.

Two Years Ago
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Its almost time. I look at my Swatch Irony watch and think of the actual irony of a well-renouned watch-maker wearing an average watch. I smile to myself in the night light as I start to make my way up to the bedroom. My wife has developed the interesting habit of being blindfolded as she makes love to her secret-Casanova. I walk into the bedroom and slowly sneak up on him and he starts moaning with her. I want there to be no pain just guilt. I drive my blade into his back and out his front. The edge of the blade strikes my wife as I climb over her mute lover who is now choking on his own blood and push harder into her stomach. With absolute clinical ease and firm resolute I twist the blade in clockwise fashion and similarly do the opposite. She is now choking too but I must not let joy flood my mind, focus is needed. I take out a smaller knife and stab him in the left side of his stomach pulling down to gut him like so many Salmon I have done before. My wife gets the premier treatment when I stab her in neck. Three and a half minutes. I am ahead of schedule. I had the bedroom made with a carpet that I had personally installed for reasons of replacement. I had even asked the person that I bought the carpet from whether I could get some more material for replacement at an earlier date. He happily obliged when I showed him the money; thank you. I begin taking them off the bed and pull the blindfold off my wife's eyes. I bring up the cleaver I have kept in the kitchen and begin dicing them into little pieces. Forty minutes, I have two minutes of breathing time. I remove a garbage bag I had placed in our closet and simply place all the chopped pieces in there. The next part of the plan has to work according to statistics and sheer luck. I open my backdoor and take a survey of the yard, not a soul in sight. I place both the four bags in my car and drive to my friends house to use his kiln. Its amazing how easily bones will burn when the right amount of heat is applied. It takes approximately an hour to get all of it done before I get my vaccuum cleaner and scoop it all up. I open my car window and simply let all the dust out letting my tired face break a smile for the first time in the night. I reach home and replace the carpet along with the bedding and the mattress as well which has a layer of orthopedic material above it to make the blade stop just in time. I then begin to hum 'Jingle Bells' to myself as I begin doing what me and the maid have been practicing for almost two years now; thank you. After everything is done, I chop the matress into little pieces as well and put all the garbage into bags that fill the back of my car. One more trip to my friends place and this all can end.

Christmas Day and after
-----------------------
I wake up at 9:00 AM and call the police stating that my wife never came home the night before and all her cellphone is not reachable. The police start an investigation into the matter only to turn up with no conclusive evidence stating that she was murdered. I begin to cry just like all the victims I had watched over the two years and almost exactly like the videos I had made of myself and watched over and over to make sure my final act went as planned. I state that she cannot be dead and must be missing. I even stay at the police station for four days just to make it all believable, what a waste of time. I spend my New Years at home sitting in the dark and feeling absolutely nothing. Tomorrow starts the rest of my life and the two years that will come with me finally being able to enjoy what I have done.

Two Years Late - Himalayas
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The Sherpa I meet tells me that I am going to have one of the best trips I have ever had. I have to agree. I open my flask and down the most expensive brandy I could afford to put in it and smile. We trek some distance and he tells me that we need to camp for the night. I simply agree and ask him if he would like a drink. He refuses and says that he will take some later. I step out of my tent and in the cold crisp air of Nepal, I take a swig and start to cry uncontrollably. It feels good to let out tears that should have hit my hand-worked granite floor six years ago.

Music listened to when writing this blog - The sound of crickets
Mood - As normal as can be
Reason for writing this blog - I wanted to end my writing in this blog today and move onto another blog but I figured that its better to stay here and keep the fire burning. It's my work and no one is taking it away from me with words ever again. I want to thank everyone who reads this blog for their comments over the last few months and no I am not crazy or sad I just wanted to write something that resembled my work over the last few months and what it now means to me. Thank you all. Merry Xmas.

I am ...

The New York breeze runs across my face and leaves all the skin it touches cold and prickly. It will be Christmas soon and its starting to show. Stores are decorated, people are walking the streets and families are getting ready for the holiday season. I pickup a newspaper and look at the headlines.

"Fireman saves elderly woman from burning apartment"

Most people look at things like this and admire the courage it takes to run into a burning building and pull out a woman. They feel safe living in a city where the firemen know their roles and their importance to society however small that may be. For the past few weeks I have been losing focus on the things that matter to me the most: love, dedication and my humanity. I was once asked by a friend why I am so lazy and don't show any initiative to mend the things that are broken in my life. I didn't have an answer that I could give at that time. I look at the newspaper again and feel sad for the fireman who had to pull the woman out. As humans we exhibit self-preservation and to run into a burning building is showing lack of that quality. However, if we didn't have fire (god forbid), then that fireman wouldn't have to risk his life and he wouldn't have a job. He doesn't need to run into a building, he has to. It may be for many reasons, his family has always been in the firefighting service, he couldn't get any other job, his parents made him feel inconsequential and now he's looking to gain approval from other people, the list goes on.

I will never have the fame that a picture on the front page of a newspaper gives these individuals. I have never wanted it nor have I craved it because it means that their job is only a means of getting somewhere and not something they have inculcated into the very blood that flows in their veins. No one needs to be a hero, they are just born that way. Seeking rewards should never be one anyone's mind and paying the men and women that do these jobs makes no sense either but in the end we are driven to these acts in some way by money.

I hear police sirens. Someone must be in trouble somewhere, this isn't going to be front page newspaper material, but no one has ever asked to take my picture for who I really am.

I drop the paper back in the stand and start running. When was the last time someone asked Peter Parker for this picture ...

Mood when writing this post - Damned if I know
Music listened to when writing this post - Silence

1861

" God left this place a long time ago " - Leonardo Di Caprio - Blood Diamond

Location: Sao Paolo , Brazil
Time: Sometime in the late afternoon.

"Não ferirá"

I wake up to the sound of the nurse telling me these words as I sit up in a hospital bed in Sao Paolo, Brazil. The nights events are all hazy and mixed with neural ghosts of people dancing and my friends doing shots at the bar. I clearly remember paying for my entry to the club where we started partying at 4PM in the evening but almost everything else is a blur.

A doctor comes and sits down next to me. He's got a stern look on his face and starts talking in Portuguese. I use all that's left of my strength and raise my left hand to stop him from talking. I am guessing his second evaluation of the patient sitting on the bed brings him to the realization that I am not from Brazil. His English speaking skills are about to be tested and he wants to convey his message to me with absolute accuracy.

"Senor, you were bought in last night from a hotel that reported you drowning in their pool"

"Are you sure doctor?"

"Yes, unfortunately I am"

"What was I doing trying to drown myself?"

"No one is entirely sure. But you should thank God that someone found you when they did or we would not be having this conversation right now"

"Do you believe in God?"

"Yes I do Senor and you should get some rest now. I will get the nurse to check the IV and make sure that your comfortable. I will get your reports and come back to talk to you"

"Thank you for everything Doctor"

"Your welcome"

My life has been less than comfortable in the past few years. I have finally taken a vacation and come to Brazil or Brasil as some people like to call it, to enjoy some off time from IBM. I intentionally decided not to take any form of communication with me and have spent three weeks going around the country side enjoying the local culture and picking up as much as I can culturally. The women are gorgeous and highly aggressive; the food is great and would give my roommate a hard time considering its spicy; the alcohol is something I never complain about in any country and last but not least the music.

I came across a group of people who claimed to be from Norway while i was crossing through some jungles on a trip. I have since been traveling with them and have found their company to be very good. My views on the world and the social unrest we have as humans is almost in simpatico with theirs. Its almost strange but they seem to be finishing my sentences. I have always wanted to visit the Scandinavian portion of Europe and with my new friends I though I would have that chance till we had a conversation on the night we came to Sao Paolo.

Natalia - "Where are you from Melroy?"

Georg - "Yeah, where are you from Melroy?"

Me - "I don't really know anymore to be honest"

Natalia - " What makes you say that?"

Me - "Well I am culturally impaired when it comes to being an Indian and I am socially impaired if I had to say I belonged in the Middle East"

Georg - "Thats an interesting point of view. Have you never felt like you belonged somewhere?"

Me - " I think that's what we miss as people. Country, society and everything else we feel the need to belong to is something we have constructed as humans to inculcate a sense of belonging. The real truth of the matter is we don't really need to belong to anything to be the people we are. When was the last time you actively worked for your country and donated your money willingly to its benefit. I know your going to bring up taxes and what your government feels is your obligation to living in its country "

Natalia - "I am not really a Nordic. I am from Russia. So I don't truly believe I am a Norwegian"

Georg - "Yes, she's not a real Norwegian but after living in Norway for so many years, you might as well call her Norwegian"

Me - "Excellent point Georg. So now I have a question. If I may"

Georg - "Certainly"

Me - "If I haven't lived in India all my life and spent most of it in Middle East does that make me belong more to the Middle East or to India?"

Natalia - "I always consider myself Russian although I have lived in Norway for most of my life"

Me - "When was the last time you spoke Russian with someone for a good part of your life?"

Natalia - "I can't really recall that I have ever done so"

Me - "Have you ever pro-actively spent time wondering about the problems your country has and how you are going to solve them?"

Georg - "And then you have to ask yourself this question, do you really need to pay attention to all your country's problems to be a part of it?"

Me - "Where is the sense of belonging if you never spend time with the entity you are trying to desperately to belong to?"

Natalia - "So your saying I am not really Russian? Am I more Norwegian?"

Me - "That's debatable. Do you feel your less of a Russian for spending more time in Norway? Or do you feel more Norwegian for not spending more time in Russia?"

Natalia - "Aren't they one in the same?"

Georg - "I think Mel's point is that we don't really belong anywhere, physically"

Mel - "Good observation Georg. We are all just trying to fit in and I guess we feel more comfortable attaching ourselves to entities made by people who think that being patriotic somehow brings more meaning to their existence and their uniqueness is solely based on where they are from and what they speak. Their culture has diluted their very existence and its more convenient for them to say they belong somewhere rather than accept the sad truth that they just want to belong somewhere and their lives mean nothing more."

Natalia - "What about family? Don't you think you feel a sense of belonging there?"

Me - "I was born in 1981. I love my family but to say that I belong to my family is not how it should be accurately described."

Georg - "How would you describe it then?"

Me - "As silly as it may sound, I call it love."

Natalia - "Haha. Do you want another drink?"

Me - "Yes, please. Georg can we interest you in another"

Georg - "Certainly"

Natalia - "So what made you think about all this?"

Me - "The fact that I've come to Brazil to call it quits on a great run at my life"

Natalia - "Your going to end your life in Brazil? Any particular reason why?"

Me - "I guess it was just potluck that I ended up here"

Georg - "Will you let us know before you do so?"

Me - "I think you'll just know"

Natalia - "Is it tonight?"

Me - "That would be telling my friend. It's been a pleasure traveling with you'll. I am going to miss you guys when I am gone"

Georg - "Then lets not waste anymore time with this useless banter. Lets drink and party to the sense of belonging and the end of your life"

Me - "Yes, lets"

It was a few hours later that I found myself sitting at the edge of the pool in the early hours of the morning looking into the water. They say that drowning is one of the most painful ways to die but I feel that its probably the most fitting for people that have lost their passion for living. The sense of helplessness and the inability to do anything while you feel the water suffocate you is a clear reminder that you might still want to give life another chance. I pop the pill of cyanide and jump in.

The doctor has come back.

"Senor, we have to call the police and keep you here under observation for a few days. You tried to ingest cyanide and drown yourself. Is there someone you would like us to call?"

"Yes, God"

"Senor, I do not think this is a joking matter. I am going to call the police and I hope you will co-operate with us in this matter"

"I certainly will"

As I lay in my bed, I notice the nurse who has been standing around through the entire conversation and my recuperation during the night. She has dark hair and an almost perfect body. I wonder why she is in the health profession and want to ask her why but my only goal right now is to find a way to die. I turn towards her and start talking.

"Excuse me"

"Yes, Senor"

"I was wondering, how much money do you make being a nurse?"

"Not much, Senor"

"Would you like to be rich?"

"I do not actually know"

"Well if you want to just let me know, I can give you my life savings but I require a favor on your part"

"And what would that be?"

"I would like you to kill me by putting something in my IV"

She stops and looks at me with a stare that can only be one of contemplation and shock mixed generously.

"Can I ask why you want to die?"

"Certainly"

"What is the reason?"

"I came to Brazil to enjoy myself and finally take a vacation. I have seen a country that has shown me so much I will never truly be grateful. I do not want to be Brazilian nor do I feel a sense of belonging here. But I figure this is just as good a place to die as any"

"Why is that?"

"No one knows my name or my past life and I finally feel a sense of belonging"

 

Music listened to while writing this post - Linkin Park - Somewhere I Belong
Mood - Elated

The Different

When I was much younger than I am now, I used to carry around the impression that everyone around me was going to be as efficient as me when it came to work and my love for life (I was only 14). As I grew older I started realizing that people are who they are for their innate character flaws and a sense of existence that embodies their character and social traits, so I have let them be and exist the way they want to for their own bad or good.

Unfortunately for me, I realized this a little too early and have practiced it in my daily life. I would like to write more but I sincerely feel that this is enough.

Music Listened to while writing this blog post -AC/DC - Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution
Mood -Drained

Run ...

Running comes naturally to human beings; you see a tidal wave coming at your from the shoreline and you run. Why do you run? Self preservation is the only thought that truly comes to mind. But sometimes, in those rare occurrences, you actually just stand there and watch the wave and embrace the fact that its all going to end and no matter how fast or high you run, its never going to be enough to truly escape.

What makes people stand and face the music? Is it guilt? Is it acceptance? Is it the will to no longer succumb to what nature or god has to offer? Is it lack of worthy existence? That is something that has truly evaded me for the past 26 years of my life. I wish I had answers for some of the stupid decisions I have made in my life but I really don't. Sometimes its just better to face the music and do the dance, sure you'll lose a bit of that personal essence that makes you tick but its probably better for the overall learning experience. I would like to clarify that facing the music has nothing to do with giving up whats near and dear to your heart but actually taking the learning experiences for what they are ... learning experiences.

By this point my brain and hand are probably off in their own worlds typing and thinking with absolute monkey-filled symmetry but then again when have I ever done anything ingenious to truly call my own?

Music while writing this post - IGA Floor - Vol 1 - Sounds of a sinking ship
Mood - Totally rattled

Choose Your Weapon Wisely

8:06 AM - IST - Bangalore

Guns for show, knives for a pro - Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

I always wanted a gun when I was younger. They are easy to use; point, pull, bang and dead. The inherent problem with a gun is that the ammunition eventually runs out. The refill portion of the weapon makes it highly inefficient even if it is able to dispatch enemies with more ease than a knife.

I classify knives as a much more efficient class of weapons for many reasons. They offer range, more pain during death and require more mastery to outclass most other weapons. The amount of time and dedication required to learn the Bushido arts is one way of showing my love for knives. The amount of precision and patience required to wield a blade is evident in most cultures even the more brash ones.

The reason for this blog post is to illustrate the stupidity that I have been experiencing for the past three or four weeks. One of my 'so-called' friends has taken it upon himself to feel a bit more superior than the rest and for all reasons under the sun, I have allowed it. He once came to us with a problem that he felt incapable of making a come-back against the people he worked with and we offered a little support on the issue. I knew then just as I know now, that he is a gun-wielder. People with the narrow-mindedness always go for the quick approach and will even fire in the dark at times to make their point. To add to his compounded idiocy, my friend also feels that he has the ability to twist people's minds by simply text-ing them or by avoiding people to create bigger and more unavoidable scenarios. However, it is now reaching its event horizon and will eventually start bleeding into the parts of my personal life that I hold a bit more dear than the niceness i have chosen to exhibit.

Tread softly my friend, I have been sharpening my blade while you run around playing cowboy with the people I care about a lot.

Music Listened to while writing this blog - Texas - Halo
Mood - Calculative

Looking At The Sun

07:43 AM - PST

I've always wanted to own a house on the beach and now I finally have it. A patio that stretches for about 70 meters overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It doesn't really matter what country I am in because its all going to end eventually. Scientists have concluded that the sun is going to explode and there is nothing we can do to escape it. It has now been five weeks since this news was revealed to the public and I still haven't had time to sit down and enjoy a drink. With my girlfriend sleeping in bed, I figure its just a good time as any.

I wake up from bed and walk into my kitchen; I'm going to miss waking up and drinking coffee with my kitchen counter overlooking the ocean. I look at the Nescafe bottle sitting right next to the sugar jar and contemplate substituting my alcoholic desire for a cup of coffee. That thought is very short lived. I open a cabinet over the kitchen counter and pull out a bottle of Jack Daniels that I bought at a liquor store two days before we all got the 'great' news. The kitchen drawer opens with effortless ease as I pull a glass out and start to pour my drink into my glass. I walk over to my fridge for some ice; the salesperson said that it was supposed to make ice on the fly but this fridge has never been tested on this feature. I push the lever with my glass and out pops two ice cubes. Mildly satisfied with the number of ice cubes in my hand I go out on the patio and look at the ocean.

My sophomore year in college was great. Surf in the morning, beach volleyball in the afternoon and nights spent in bars socializing with a wide spectrum of people who won't mean anything to me in approximately ten minutes. I wonder what those people are doing right now? Some of them might be sitting in their houses praying to whatever God they were conditioned to believe since the age of two. Others are out on the ocean surfing the last few waves they are ever going to experience. Some might be busy making love to their spouses with the intention of taking that memory to the after-life. I purposely drugged my girlfriend's drink last night to have her sleep through this ordeal. I wonder if any of the people I went to college with are looking out at this ocean wondering what its like to have nothing better to do but drink some bourbon and stare idly at the approaching disaster.

As I turn around I look at the patio table I was conned into getting a week back. Some Chinese-looking woman told me it would bring balance in my chaotic life. With no hesitation in my mind, I picked it up. Its a simple wooden table with a glass top and two chairs that are rather relaxing. I wonder if that woman is still at the same store trying to sell more furniture to people passing by ... fucking sales people.

I look back into the house, the TV is on and some television presenter is on the screen. It's a re-run and that I can be assured of because its the same guy I have seen for three weeks now covering the fact that the world is going to end and there is nothing we can do about it. I see the same silly sketch of how the sun is going to engulf all the planets around it and from what I can tell, the initial effects will be painful but the end comes pretty soon.

I look back at the ocean, its started to happen. The water looks a bit misty, effects of heat. I can smell something burning, must be the table I am sitting at. I look at my glass of whiskey that I haven't touched since I got out on this patio. The two ice cubes are shrinking in size. I take a quick sip and notice something that hasn't bothered me since it started about three years ago. My skin has boils on it and I get the feeling that they are itching but I don't feel the need to scratch. Amazing how our sicknesses will teach us to face adversity. As I feel the first boil burst I let out a whimper and feel my eyes fill up with puss. I close whats left of my eyes and think my last thought ... Should have put more ice in the whiskey glass, I don't remember it ever tasting bad with three ice cubes.

Music Listened to While writing this blog - John Mayer - Gravity
Mood - Confused but happy that I am not angry

Four Days in Sunny August

Thoughts race through my mind as I sit at a cafe in Paris. It's been almost four months now and the scars on my face are completely healed from my meeting with Jaroslav in Russia. I have deserted my hunt for the rest of the clan at the moment realizing that my efforts would end in a meeting with either Ivan or Michael. Vampires generally regroup and strategies very quickly when one of their elders has been murdered. Attacking now would be foolish even for the most experienced vampire hunters and that I am not.

The past few days of my five day stay in Paris have been spent courting a young Parisian woman whose only fascination with me is the way I talk and my innate ability to pick up her language eventhough I claimed to be from the United Kingdom. Her innocence is something has been a breath of fresh air in a violent and troublesome year leading to the death of my sister and the realization that my father is now part of the group responsible for what I have become. I welcome the pleasure. Everytime I meet his girl I am constantly reminded of the first time I learned of my regeneration abilities and how the slow growth of my severed arm actually made me feel warm all over.

I see her approaching the cafe in the distance. I wonder if she even has a clue about me and the kind of person I am. She must have told all her friends about this foreigner she met at local bar in the city. I wonder how she is going to react when I have to pack up everything I find so dear about her and get back to my work at hand.

I think of all the women in my life and how at some point in the relationship I have had 'bigger' callings to attend to. I sometimes wish this life never caught up with me and I hadn't made the choices I did.

I watch her pretty face as she kisses me on the cheek and asks me if I have been waiting long. I listen to her talk in her innocent voice and realize that its time once again to move on with my task at hand. I would love to spend the eternity given to me with her but my father would eventually find us. That is something I do not wish even on the most evil people I have come across.

I offer her a cup of coffee and tell her to meet me in my room. As I kiss her on her cheek and leave the cafe towards my room. I know what must be done before I leave Paris and I know why I have to do it. The struggle will be short before I snap the neck and drink whatever blood I can muster out of her.

You only hurt the ones you love ...

Taken from the Chronicles of Jacques Belmonte - Book Two
Music while writing this post - Celine Dion - All By Myself

Stop Running Fast Because No One Really Cares But You

Tyson Gay is probably sitting in his house today smiling to himself for numerous reasons but the one achievement he has which no one on the planet can claim current fame to is ... Fastest Man Alive. It was only recently that he acquired this title and he beat the rest of the people in the race to reach the finish line.

The purpose behind today's blog is to talk about achievements and the drive one truly requires to reach that goal. As an individual living in society its very difficult for a person to have a unified focus on a singular goal that will help him/her achieve better results/long term satisfaction over their current situation when the current situation is offering them solutions to the problems that the current situation created. Confused? I was too until I finally realized what was truly required of me to make this situation disappear.

My current life/work situation has gone through some major changes in the last two weeks that have required re-focus on goals and the changes in my career that I have slowly been striving along towards over my time in India. I have listed the changes in small paragraphs to give a brief account of why I even started this blog.

My Career
========
When I first joined IBM I was like a fat kid in a chocolate factory, everything looks good so why not taste it? But over a short span of time, I learned about my options and the choices I would eventually have to make in the long run to ensure that my career actually survives the mundane time it is currently in and moves to a higher level. Unfortunately, I have been running hard in the wrong direction as far as this goes and its been a hard battle between the other circles of my life to balance everything out. How is it going? Let's just say not too well but I am going to put my foot down and take the battering just so that I don't turn into that bitter old man who everyone knows could have done better.

My Social Life
==========
I used to be overly social (if there is such a phrase). Alas, over the past few years, I have strived to bring people together and build the kind of social life I used to have once upon a time. In the process, I have forgotten the golden rule of the social circle concept that I have learned over the years which has taught me that if two people don't like each other then you are not responsible for making sure that they understand that they are both your friends irrespective of how they treat each other and it is not your sole responsibility to make sure everyone is comfortable and playing well together. The final result, I have to either let things burn and pick up whats left of the ashes or get burnt myself and burn all the social circles I have. I would like to take advice on this and I have in the past, but its time to once again make firm decisions like I did in early 2002 and let the actual people with the problems decide what they want to do.

These are of course the bigger points and there are smaller problems within these but the focus has to be big to make it small and I only hope that I have a bigger self-controlled drive to fix the problems that have now come back up.

Mood when writing this blog - Rushed
Music Listened to when writing this blog - Eric Clapton - Change The World

Joss Stone - Introducing

When I first heard JS it was by pure accident. 'Right to be wrong' was a track that showcased a very mellow and mildly angry Joss. The new album 'Introducing' has a much fresher sound and is very catchy. 'Arms of my baby' is a very fast paced and beat-rich song showcasing the wider range that JS can actually reach. Great sound, good purchase and totally recommended if you want to actually listen to something a bit different from the standard pop and radio stuff you are listening to.





Playlist
=====

1. Change (Vinnie Jones Intro)
2. Girl They Won't Believe It
3. Headturner
4. Tell Me `Bout It
5. Tell Me What We're Gonna Do Now feat. Common
6. Put Your Hands On Me
7. Music feat. Lauryn Hill
8. Arms Of My Baby
9. Bad Habit
10. Proper Nice
11. Bruised But Not Broken
12. Baby Baby Baby
13. What Were We Thinking
14. Music Outro

Overall Rating : 8/10

Music listened to while writing this post - Arms of my Baby - Joss Stone
Current Mood - Carefree

Mlimerick Time

I knew a girl
She was pretty stiff
My friend asked me for her address
Instead we smoked a spliff

Music listened to while writing this post - Sound of Silence - DJ Apt. 102
Mood - Tired but pushing the awareness

Dedicated to the presence of Dry Poison in the house

Security with some fashion attached

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/19/fashion/19taser.html

Will wonders never cease ... next we will have security systems with Power Puff Girl themes on them.

Flashback Post

Thursday, July 19th 2007

==================

iTunes Library Random Choice - Daft Punk - One More Time 

Whenever I hear the tune that was randomly chosen for me by iTunes today I get reminded of good times over the year 99 when I first went to college and the ensuing madness and partying that was coupled with graduation 4 years later. Just had to post this ... enjoy college cause once your out its not as fun even if you party everyday .... 

Music - Daft Punk - One More Time

Mood - Friday Fever 

Growing Up V1.0 Reflection

Its been a while since I have done some reflection and I guess now is a good time as any. There have been some major changes in my life going from age 17 to 26.

1. Friends - I don't really know when or where it happened but after coming back to India I have reduced the radius of the circle of friends I have. I chalk it down to a few things that I can probably blame the drinking culture in India on but mostly on the fact that with the work I do I hardly meet any new people and that is something that I constantly try and work towards with any means given to me.

2. Tolerance - This is one thing that I believe I have managed to get down pat with the 9 years that have passed since me being 17. These days, I think before I do anything and the tolerance factor is much higher. I used to be quick to react but now I think and see if there is a way to just let things go and for the most part I do.

I know this is a short post but there is much more that I have not really reflected on completely and I will add them to this. Its that time of the decade spent where I need to do some introspection and see the things that need fixing. Who knows whether they will get fixed or not?

Music Listened to while writing this blog - RHCP - Around the World

Mood - Totally Pissed Off and Tired

Blood and Cigarettes

I am bought back to consciousness by the sounds of the crazy madman screaming fifteen stories above my head. I slowly reach into my coat pocket and pull out a packet of Marlboro Reds. 

"Ahh, comfort at last" 

The smoke fills my lungs immediately and I get that rush most smokers get when they haven't smoked in a long time. The mere fact that the smoke is giving me a pleasant high indicates the beginning of the healing process. Regeneration is anything short of pleasan....Fuck!!! Now he's taunting me by throwing bricks off the top floor around the trash I am comfortably resting in. All I need is another ten minutes to get back to full health and its back to business as usual. I can now hold the cigarette with the firm grip I started the day out with. I once read that smoking doesn't promote proper skin grafting and that it can cause abnormalities. I am guessing doctors haven't seen what I can do and in some ways I pray they never do. 

He's screaming again. Something about taking care of the flock and how I was never good at it. The cigarette is done and I am back on my feet. I open the front door of the building and walk in. Fifteen flights of stairs to climb and a repeat of everything that has just happened. The autumn breeze blows on my back and gives me a slight chill because the jacket I was wearing is now torn all over. 

Killing your father is never easy.

Taken from The Chronicles of J.Belmonte - Book Four

Music while writing this blog - Things I've Done - Linkin' Park

Mood - Friday Blues

Mlimericks (continued)

Its been a while so here is one that we came up with this weekend past, which was eventful. Drunk people, a blown tire, a half-drunk girl who tried some funny things lol (get your mind out of the gutter) and a birthday.

I knew a girl

She was real old

I knew a girl

She was real old

I got between her legs

And all I found was mold

Disgusting I know...

Music listened to with this post - Morningwood - Babysitter

Mood - Half Full Happy

The Wonderful Verification Process

7:00 AM - I drag my arse out of bed and open the windows to let some of the mildly polutted air into my room.

8:00 AM - Put on my iPod and go about my reading work

9:00 AM - Get my clothes ironed and proceed to have a shower

10:00 AM - Get out the door and proceed to work

11:00 AM - Fill out an online application for the reset of my password for On-line banking with ICICI and this is where the chain of chronologically neat events stops.

The question to be asked while reading this blog post is " What is something that no one else knows about me that only I could know?"

I asked myself this question as I was filling out a form to get my internet banking password reset today. There were a series of questions that anyone could obtain with a little casual questioning and I wonder why banks have really not caught onto this. Let's examine some of the ridiculous questions we are asked : 

1. Whats your mother's maiden name? Gee I don't know but maybe my dad, brother, sister, grandmother, uncle, aunt, granddad, all the friends shes known over the years and someone know wants to reset my password for me could answer.

2. Whats your Date of Birth? With all the orkutting, myspacing, facebooking and gosh even googling we do I, our date of birth is the most insecure question to put on this form.

3. Account Number? Slightly harder to obtain but not the hardest still.

4. Email address? Who writes letters anymore. Need I say more?

5. Residential Address? All it takes is a day out where I live and I am sure you can get it from anyone on the road for 10 Rs or even for free (Yes, being polite gets you a lot of information).

6. Mobile Number? God, this one is so trivial that its inclusion in a safe form is pointless

So, the final verdict is that banks should allow you to just devise questions yourself and that should be it. Imagine if I had a question like "What did I have to close the night for my 19th birthday?". Now thats security and doesn't require me to wait a whole fucking week for my PIN to be reset. Till the next time ... Hello.

Music Listened to while writing this blog - Piece of My Heart - Faith Hill (Cover)

Phrase of the moment - More Than Meets The Eye

Movie on the Horizon - Transformers (The Movie)

Kelly Clarkson - My December

Playlist

======

1. Never Again

2. One Minute

3. Hole

4. Sober

5. Don't Waste Your Time

6. Judas

7. Haunted

8. Be Still

9. Maybe

10. How I Feel

11. Yeah

12. Can I Have a Kiss

13. Irvine

When the first American Idol nominated Kelly Clarkson as the winner I wasn't too sure that she'd last in the music business but here she is with a third album to her name. Its not all that great to be honest and if you want to hold onto your manhood i recommend not actually listening to it beacause I almost lost mine. As a pop album, it will do well and the throngs of Clarkson fans out there will be happy to see the girl finally become a woman. 

Overall - 6/10 (Its Kelly Clarkson you can't give her anything under a 5 or Simon will come to your doorstep)

Music Listened to while writing this post - Jewel - Deep Water
Mood - Peachy

The importance of saying Hello

Hello

noun

an expression of greeting; "every morning they exchanged polite hellos"

- Taken from dictionary.com by the complex "Ctrl + C and Ctrl + V" procedure

A typical morning at work for me involves coming into the IBM building and systematically proceeding to my desk. Along the way, I meet people with whom I have exchanged minuscule words and sometimes a quick joke to lighten their moods. The standard approach to greeting a person informally has gone from proper spoken English to grunts and hisses like a pressure valve letting out gas. I usually greet people with a quick Hi or a slightly prolonged Hello followed with the person's first name, last name or their nickname. These days, however, people seem to be following the gangster's guide to showing restekpa (yes i know its spelt wrong) and they only nod or give a chin up. If you happen to chance someone saying Hello to someone else, they must either be too early for work or have nothing better to do at their desk.

Saying Hello probably means nothing to the average man but it can be used in so many efficient ways. Here are a few :-

1. You've woken up from bed and your girlfriend/wife/mistress/the girl you paid to much for is in the kitchen snacking away at your precious nutrition. To avoid conflict and unnecessary morning banter, you say a quick hello how are you? soft kiss on the cheek and voila you have managed to grab the coffee she has made for you along with the newspaper and the bacon on the dish. Don't believe me? Give it a try.

2. Your getting into work and you notice the cunt that has been making your life miserable and smiling about it is coming your way. Wash that mournful look off and say a brisk and polite hello followed by 'how are you today?'. If that doesn't plant the seeds of doubt in the infertile soil resting on the top of your nemesis head, even a radioactive powered bulldozer won't help.

3. Your in the pantry and that extremely cute or vixen-like (if that floats your boat) co-worker is getting a cup of brew before heading back to work. You could start the conversation with your name and that you are interested in her and the size of her mamalons but with the way law is going these days your better off just getting a porn magazine and making sweet love to your right hand. Instead, test the water with a cool Hello, how are you? and just give an acknowledging smile and slight tilt of head. What have you done here? Tested the water, made your entrance and successfully taken a look down her cleavage. (I know ladies I am sorry I did not put a guy in here but believe me I'd have to see a shrink if I did)

4. Your boss is trying to ditch work early and go home to play Xbox 360 with his kid (well ok I know I could have come up with something better) and you notice him from across the floor. You can shout a nice air-filled Hello, Mr XYZ I think Mr. Your-boss-not-mine was looking for you and quickly become the MVP of the floor for that day or week if your lucky.

I could go on and on but I think we can all now agree that no matter how serious I try and get in my writing, I will never be able to do so successfully. Just remember, the best way to make an entry is to find out what you want and work towards making sure no one knows what it is you truly want from them. Hello is one of the safest ways to do so when your in a group because who wants to be rude to someone that is trying very hard to be polite unless your a total ass and really don't care for the niceness of people. Good luck using your new found abilities and remember it takes two to tango and one to get a sexual harassment suit for trying to feel up your HR representative.

Till the next time ... Hello


Music listened to while writing this blog - RHCP - Raodtrippin' (something like that)
Mood - Elated

Whats In A Name - Short Add

I know there are spelling/grammar mistakes... and its gives my writing character so if you are going to comment on that learn to kindly fuck off.

Music while writing this short post - AIN - Rotten Apple
Mood - Indifferent

Whats In A Last Name

"By the power vested in me by the state of jibberish, I pronounce you husband and wife" -- The man every married person learns to curse if things go sour

When your younger, your decision making really isn't your own. Your parents give you everything you need and decide what you shouldn't get eventhough you might truly need it. They look over your shoulder at every step ensuring that you get the things they never got and in addition to this wonderful responsibility, they also manage their hectic lives. However, talking about pressure and responsibility is not the point of this post. The one element of the over-fantasized concept of marriage that I want to talk about is the last name a woman gets when she marries the man/woman of her dreams. I wonder where it is written in stone that a woman needs to adopt a man's last name? I think I missed the memo on where that Holy Grail lies.

The best solution for this problem is to do one of two things

1. Amalgamate the last names
2. Concatenate the last names

Now, lets take each of these and see the pros and cons.

Amalgamation

Althought the process sounds like a super villain out of an Uncanny X-Men comic book, the reality is far from it. Lets take an example to illustrate the phoenetic problem some cultures will have if this goes live.

Eg. John Brown marries Mary Shelly - Their last name becomes Brolly. Sounds a bit mannly but its the concept working as designed.

Now, what kind of good samaritans would we be if we only helped people with western family names? The bad kind. So lets take a quick trip over to the Indian subcontinent for some more Sesame Street fun.

Indian Eg. Ram Chandran marries Prachi Jain. They gets the last name Chanchi. Still not so bad but with the kind of world we live in, its only a matter of time before we deal with intercultural marriages.

IntCul Eg. Melroy Coelho marries Danielle Huntchekova. So we get the last name Coechekova. I am sure my dad and mom would have a fit calling the kids and so would their friends as well but its something that can be worked around.

Along with the problem of last name amalgamation there is another problem which requires time to be injected into the equation. What happens when the kids of last-name-amalgamated-parents (LNAP) get married? Lets find out.

LNAP Kids getting married - Brolly married Chanchi - Brochi.

So amalgamation works out pretty fine and everyone is none the wiser. Lets take care of the next solution which actually sounds more pleasant but causes much more problems.

Concatenation

I know it sounds like a yank-infected chinese cooking style but its actually a method of putting two things together by keeping their original states the same. So in the first example, the last name would become Brown-Shelly and so on. Now, these parents become LNCP - Last Name Concatenated Parents. Everything else holds the same except for the children who get completely screwed and every subsequent generation suffers even more.

eg. Brown-Shelly meets Chandran-Jain and now you have Brown-Shelly-Chandran-Jain and the next batch of kids suffer even more.

Therefore, to avoid all this confusion women should take mens last names. Why? Look at the amount of confusion we had to go through to come to a peaceful amicable solution. Oh and for all you feminists screaming for women's equality and why men can't just take women's last names? When you get the concept of equality right we will talk business. When and if I feel like bashing that concept I will get to it. Melroy Coelho - Out.

Music Listent to while writing this blog - Alice In Chains - I Stay Away

Mood - Happy

Starting verbal arguments when Wireless is availible

We were sitting around the living room yesterday night and talking about David Copperfield (The Illusionist). Now, in a situation where you are seated at a bar, no one would start arguing unless they had information or if they were told by a reliable source (wife/fuckbuddy/etc.). Instead, my roommate simply opens his laptop, goes to google and voila you've got all the information you need. Amazingly, this same scenario has now crept into the bar scenario where people with internet access on their cellphones can now do the exact same thing. Infact, if Bangalore was completely wireless, I could simply open my PSP and go googling or Wiking around the internet for information. Imagine a world where your watch did the same thing? or where your microwave did it too? Soon we will all be connected in some way or the other and it's pretty scary. Where will we run.

 

Crazy world we live in.

 

Music while writing this post - Joan Jett - I Love Rock And Roll
Mood - Generally Happy

Windows Live Writer (Beta) -- Simple and Very Useful

So today I was in a very Microsoft mood. I visited the website and went to the Live Beta section and found an application that I am very happy with.

Windows Live Writer (Beta) has made my blogging easier by simply allowing me Word functionality and then the simple push of a button to get the post onto the web.

If you like blogging and if you like to save your drafts on a machine to work offline then this is a great application to have and it even takes the style from the blog site and puts it in the drafts as well.

Wicked cool. You have done well once again Billy.

Link - http://get.live.com/betas/writer_betas

Rating - 9/10 (Simply because it lets you write whatever whenever and just post it when you are ready)

Music - Carried Underwood - In your heaven

Statement of the Day

So yesterday night we were sitting down having dinner and just talking when my roommate's brother decides to say something that must be considered in the hall of shame of things that people say when they are certainly not thinking.

 

"Being intellegent is not a bad thing"

 

I leave it to the masses to dissect this one and bring me back some comments. Considering the patronage I get to my page I am expecting a null result but I shall pass this one around work and the forums to see what comes up.

 

Name Change consideration --- Techno-Ronin
Music - Disappear - Dina D'Allesandro

Weekend Learning and the N-Queen Problem

So i'll admit, I am very very rusty when it comes to programming after being out for it for so many years but the information i garnered this weekend has actually got me interested in it once again. I learnt a bit about registers and their uses. A little more reading on Wikipedia and I am slowly getting back my interest for programming. Now the question is what do i do with it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/32-bit_x86_assembly_programming

Death - The Final Goal

Some people say that it takes a death in the family to sometimes bring the family together. Others say that death is the one true constant we have in our lives. The question then begs that if we know its coming around then why are we still fighting for cures and saving lives? If we all know that we are going to eventually turn into physical matter that constitutes the planet why have a science that develops medication/saves lives?

I have long thought about this topic and can only come up with one answer ... Selfishness. An article I posted some time back ... No Good Deed ... properly explains that no good deed truly has a complete selflessness associated with it. At some point in time we get attached to the people that we live with, family and friends. I think it is pure selfishness that wants us to keep them alive and see the species propagate into the future. For if we were all truly comfortable with death then we would not be finding ways to cheat it. We all know its coming and we all certainly know we cannot live forever, yet we read about people in the newspapers who get medals and awards for finding the cure to diseases we have struggled with for many generations.

We never hear good things about the people that have come to terms with the Grim Reaper and have actually accepted their fate and are dying. These are the people who truly deserve the medals and awards because they know its coming and they are not fighting something that is as innate in our physical being as giving birth or socializing. It is for this very reason that I feel people who pray for the dying, who take the challenge to cheat death and who feel that the world would be a better place through medicine truly take the cake as worldly unaware and cheating the people they are helping out of the one thing they need ... reality.

Sure I might be a bit angry and misguided while I write this article but who are they to judge me on what I think when we all know that what we think is not our own, it is a product of everything around us.

UEFA Champions League/Heroes Season 1

Season 1 for Heroes comes to an end and Liverpool meets AC Milan for a Champions League final in the same week. Its going to be good is all I can say. Not much to write today other than the usual run of the mill and my final commitment to say Fine ... Fuck You to people I choose to irrespective of how they feel or what situation they are in.

In the end, you can trust no one but yourself. However, you should never fall short of the person you can be to help other people because if you have a gift it is your responsibility to use it.

Music - The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony
Phrase - You will never Walk Alone

Heroes - The One I Feel The Most Inclined To Be

In the past few months I have been watching this show diligently and haven't missed a show ... yet. With the season finale coming up next week I feel that now is the time to write a blog about which character I feel I can truly relate to.

Character List
==========
Mr. Linderman - The Healer
Peter Petrelli - The Empath
Nathan Petrelli - The Flying Man
Claire Bennet - Indestructible
Hiro Nakamura - Time Traveller
Sylar (Yes hes an anti-hero) - The Genetic Absorber
DL - Walks through walls
Nikki/Jessica Sanders - Dual Peronality with Amazing Strength
Mica Sanders - Able to Control any machine
Parkman - The Telepath
Ted Sprague - Radioactive Man
Molly Walker - The locator

The character I best relate to is Peter. He's the guy that did all that he could when it was time and still ended up getting fucked in the end. The girl he was interested in dies. The patient he cared for the most died. His brother is worried about saving a world that is on a crash course for destruction. He has a gift that is truly one of the best powers but his ability to see his potential is shadowed by his fear of failure. His family feels that hes taken the wrong path. He finds Claire to be his sister and finds comfort is pushing her to use her abilities for good. I sometimes wonder how you cannot like this character for all the fucked up shit thats happened and his view on the world going from cheerful to sheer analytical. I cannot wait for the season finale to see what happens when Peter and Sylar finally square off and whether or not Boom becomes a reality.

Women and the missing link

Every time I seem to want to write something about women my age I am reminded of the amount of time spent on the books that I have been trying to write for a long long time now. The protagonist is a true lover of the opposite sex but just doesn't seem to hit the right note and --spoiler but who cares-- either ends up killing all his love interests or loses them because he is not interested in anything but sheer revenge and motivation for a higher cause.

In some ways I feel that I fall into the same thinking, considering I am writing the stupid books lol. I always seem to feel that a relationship that takes too much effort is like trying to move objects with your mind when you really can't. It's a more fruitful venture to consider yourself human and move on with the options given to you because of your unique placement in the mad world we live in.

Women in general aren't really bad and in some cases are the sole reason some of us find the time to put smiles on our truly depressed faces. Alas, with all the good must also come the bad considering the fact that nothing good really exists without something bad to balance it out. I think a sabbatical is in order and to do that I need to break/burn some bridges that I really do not want to. Unfortunately the end result is going to be beneficial for me and if I really and truly put my mind back into things that actually make me happy I will be a better and more wiser person for doing so.

On with the show ...

Music while writing this blog -- Xpress - Lazy (Radio Edit)
Favorite Word of the Moment -- Boom
Expected death count for the day -- too large to count
Realization for the day -- Cows don't fly, shit does.

AMD Phenom

Interesting article I came across today from the AMD Pressroom

http://www.amd.com/us-en/Corporate/VirtualPressRoom/0,,51_104_543~117412,00.html

Super Heroes In Our Lifetime

I feel that today is going to be a long day considering that my back is really killing me but then again I guess I am to blame for sleeping in a position that makes most gymnasts look like amateurs lol. On a more brighter note, things are looking up and I have started talks to move into a job role that I think would better suit my mental frame at IBM. If all works out well then the blog will become more active as I will have more time to type and actually cover things that I have been dying to cover for a long long time.

Todays title is something that I have been passionate about since my childhood, comics. I remember spending hours upon hours reading away while my parents told me to sleep or eat or take a bath (thank god i listened sometimes lol). Most people take comics as a creative gateway for artists/writers/inkers to show the world their talent. I think that with the amount of evolution we have seen in graphic novels (what they are called these days) this statement no longer holds true. As a clarification I would like to say that when I talk about comics I am not talking about Tin Tin or Asterix or those lame-ass Archies that have filled people's bookshelves for the longest time possible. I am talking about real writing .. Batman Year One/Marvel Knight's Peter Parker/Fantastic Four EX/Etc. These writers have grown up with the readers who adore them and are now at a stage where its not just heroes beating villains or getting the girl at the end of the day. Moreover, they deal with real-life issues, Peter Parker not being able to support Mary Jane and her modeling conquest or Bruce Wayne having flashes about the way in which he has dealt with his parents loss and his choice to become the Dark Knight.

It really hurts fans and people like me when movies like Spiderman 3 come out and totally ruin the image that these artists have worked so long to create and display. Directors like Sam/Ang/Brian etc have got so much material to work with that having great script writers becomes a no-brainer, yet they go and gear these movies for the pimple popping generation we have now. I do not see how making these movies in pure 60s fashion is going to garner new fans and show them the evolution of these heroes and I don't see the point in bubble-gumming the entire situation.

I can only hope that Ang does a good job when IH2 comes out because hes got a great casting call in Eric Bana and Jennifer which should not be wasted. Bruce is a complicated character and should be treated as such. I don't really care if the movie ends with a big bang or we see spectacular SFX. I just want to see heroes being heroes and not the childhood style crap we are seeing from these mediocre directors.

Music listened to during the write of this blog - Velvet Revolver - Money
Phrase for the day - Your going to die anyways why not enjoy yourself and fuck the rest of the world for thinking they are going to live forever
Melroy Coelho Firmware Version - 1.0+

Air No More

Sometimes I think that iGoogle really is great. I have been using it for two days now and already I am reading up on stuff that I normally would never find if I was just reading around. Todays reading was no less from sheer brilliant. When I was younger we lived opposite the Michelin showroom and this is an invention that will surely go places with the right amount of funding and perhaps innovation from car manufacturers as well.

Read on

http://auto.howstuffworks.com/tweel-airless-tire.htm

Music this blog was written with - Simply Red - Stars
Word of the moment - Kohomadha

Melroy Coelho v1.0 Personal Firmware Upgrade May 7th 2007

So people, it eventually had to happen and the time has finally come. Yesterday in the afternoon I reset my personal firmware back to v1.0. For a lot of people this is going to come as a shock but for people that have known me prior to 1999 all faith is now restored in the jungle that is called my post high school years.

Things to look forward to with v1.0
-----------------------------------
1 - I do not take bullshit anymore and become vocal on it at get-go
2 - I really don't give a shit to second degree work and will let you know where you belong
3 - You know that understanding person that you thought you knew. Guess what I killed him.
4 - Cows and stray Cats get the same treatment - A kick although I prefer death.
5 - Take a stab at my lack of regional language understanding and I WILL put you in your place
6 - Weekends are finally ME time and your plans may or not fall into them
7 - I will help anyone provided they seriously want to be helped and are not just attention starved
8 - I finally want to put Football ahead of alot of things in my life and get back into it
9 - No more half-wit jokes about situations anymore

There is a lot more to come with this regression but I felt it finally was time. I am tired of being run ragged by the amount of time I spend thinking and wasting on useless ventures. A trip to Nandi Hills and I saw the light in the dark of night. I am going to apologize to all the people over the 8 yrs who have gotten used to a specific kind of response from me based on situation and my critic-style of humor. I also want to apologize to people that I have helped in the past because at some point I got so badly jipped that I had to put my foot down and tell the truth and from now on there will be no more sugar-coating.

I would like to thank Bangalore, lack of sleep, sheer human idiocy and my need for self-improvement for bringing me back to where I truly needed to be. BACK TO BASICS.

Reading this disclaimer I suppose puts a spin on a lot of people that I have met over the years but for the ones that I know and they already know are truly in the right boat there will be no difference between us. For all the rest, god help us both.

Phrase of the moment -- Everything that has a beginning has an end.
Song used to make this decision -- Cry - Faith Hill

No Good Deed Goes Recognized

Someone once said that love was unconditional and all i have to say to that is yeah right. Yesterday night I had an amazing revelation as I smoked a Davidoff cigarette and drank a glass of wine. I started thinking about why people do things in the name of love and it suddenly dawned on me that people do things in the name of love to appease themselves as the end result of doing something for someone else no matter how good they may feel about it ultimately gives only one person satisfaction, the person that performed the act.

More to come ..

Anfield Madness - Chelsea Are Just Not Good Enough

Its one thing to be called the champions of England (It means truly nothing) but to finally be called the champions of Europe is something that has evaded Jose Mourinho for a total of three seasons. Last night Anfield was on fire as Liverpool FC stormed into yet another final of the European Championship (former name for the UEFA Champions League). I have no words to describe my pure excitement and relief at the fact that we are once again where we were two seasons back and with the threat of AC Milan or Man Utd. on the horizon. But as fan of the KOP i can only say one thing ... You'll Never Walk Alone ....

And to all the supposed football and Chelsea FC fans ... go back to stitching or needle work you ignorant c$nts.

Blog written and inspired by Ryan Cabrera - On The Way Down

Big Showdown In Anfield Tonight

When the lights finally go down on the Liverpool season for '06 - '07 for their Champions League I would like to think of the finals and the repeat showdown with AC Milan that we had two years ago. When people that simply watch the sport tell you that it's all over in the first half with two goals down to one of, if not the biggest, footballing clubs in Serie A, you cannot help but feel the necessity to challenge common reasoning and logic and let the silly SOBs know that in this sport nothing is over till Injury Time puts a low blow on the proceedings. I feel and know that we can still pull off yet another amazing season by thumping Chelsea at Anfield. Tonight's betting proceedings will go to my choice of charity should we win. If we lose, I will personally take the money along with a picture and donate it to R.I's ongoing oil fund for Chelsea FC... NOT

COME ON LIVERPOOL ....

Scouser for Life
Melroy Coelho (Resident Happiness Injector IBM IGA Europe and MEA)

Song this blog was written along with - Football's Coming Home - '98 Edition - Baddel and Skinner

Chennai Trip 2007

First revisit trip of the year and it was good in many ways. I think I have finally found my 'Miami' group equivalent and it was in the most unlikeliest places of all (yes i know there is no word like that). The trip came about in a very odd fashion with me not even wanting to make the trip because of stress reasons. Alas as with most trips I have made (Virginia Tech, Ft Lauderdale 2004 and the ever famous Miami Caper 2002) I caved in and said it would be good to finally get out of BLR and head for some nice sunshine and maybe get some beach time in.

Things to do when in Chennai
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1 - Avoid telling people a specific time - Heat and Traffic will cause problems
2 - Remember to buy deodrant in bangalore cause man you will need it when you get there
3 - Remember to eat burgers at Baywatch (We get good stuff in some places in BLR but the taste is something to remember)
4 - Do not go to Mochas unless you want to be like someone acting in the Godfather Sauna scene
5 - Remember that Rajnikanth is bigger than the good lord himself so be careful about what you say and do with the moustache man.
6 - You will start saying things in languages you do not understand (english mostly)
7 - Take the chance to enjoy the fact that booze is much cheaper in BLR and drink less

All in all I will say that my concept of Chennai is now a far cry from what it was last year when I erratically visited the place. Had i known the people i met on this trip I probably would have had a better time but considering my frame of mind when I went there I will say that I think that it was a smart decision on my part not to call anyone lol.

City Rating

Overall - 6.5 /10
Weatherwise - 7 /10 (Yes I grew up in the mid-east and I love the heat)
Beach/Entertainment - 6/10 (As with any place the people make it not the place itself but I have been to places where the beaches just blow your mind)
Alcohol - Undecided (Did not get to try any of the local stuff but who knows maybe next time)
Drugs - Undecided (Although I got a very nice offers at Zara's hehe glad I kept that one to myself)
People - 9.5 /10 (This trip would have been an utter waste had I not gone with some cool people)
Revisit Factor - 8/10 (Still lots to see and more places to go so I will visit again maybe in only shorts)

Song used while writing this blog - SJB and Jane Weidlin - Rush Hour (Fonzerelli Hot and Sexy Remix)

Good Weekend

So we had a good weekend this past and it's not because we drank or the weekend was great but rather due to the fact that we met some very cool and fun people. finally bangalore is starting to get back in groove again after a long long time. More to come in the posts as I now sit in a place where my every move is no longer monitored.

Have to love hating The Man

Personality Type Take A Look

You Are An INFJ

The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

What's Your Personality Type?

Gears of War vs Resistance: Fall of Man

The Xbox 360 has been a big hit worldwide since its realease last year. Many people geared it as a failure on MS's part to release something so early in the game when its other two competitors were still working on their next-gen consoles.

As always, I am with Nintendo on this game plan but on with the point of the blog. I have seen extensive screenshots, gameplay analysis and even seen developer interviews for the two top gun FPSs for consoles this year ... Gears of War and Resistance.

Initially, I was in total awe at the way GOW simply overruns Resistance when it comes to vivid scenarios, very good looking enemies and even FMVs. But that was before last month when I saw a time-trial of Resistance. The bosses just outdo anything GOW throws at it and the inherent problem I faced when I played Resident Evil 4 for the first time has even been overcome. Even next-gen consoles suffer from the excessive sprite syndrome as I saw in a demo video made by some of the developers. This is where Resistance just kicks ass ... at one point of time there were approx. 40 enemies on the screen doing different things and the PS3 never even flinched. It just kept on rolling. Furthermore, the levels get more intensive as Resistance moves on and im sorry to tell all those ardent PC gamers out there but there is no game at present that can match the overload of enemies and the clarity that is put out by the PS3.

Ratings
GOW - 9.5 /10 (I mean can you really give it any less? its simply spectacular on scenarios minus the A button problem and the wall hugging ... hopefully a fix comes with the next edition)
Resistance - 9.8 /10 (Sony have outdone themselves and the enemies just keep on coming totally cool game, very well thought out weapon system and the controls are fluid. One thing to work on in the next edition is to get it from the new school person point and not the gun crossair)

Water loss ... start some fires

So today the Karnataka government lost out a bid for getting control over a dam and the amount of water is now going to be downsized. Amazingly, starting fires is what the local population has decided on. I don't know which rocket-scientist started this amazing idea but I think that they forgot that inorder to put out fires (which im sure the local fire department wants to do inspite of any rivarly with TN) they need water.

Only time and the unbelievable stupidity called education will tell the tale of these morons ...

Brahmin Wedding Fundamentals -- The Sweet

So listed here are a few pics from this special sweet that you only get at Brahmin weddings. I have decided to show the phases in which this dish comes to a person attending the wedding.


Phase 1 - The empty plate


Phase 2 - A crispy toasted sweet puff is put on my plate but I have to wait for the coming condiments :(

Phase 3 - The Brahmins coat the bun with some cocaine (They tried to tell me it was sugar ... Yeah Right)


Phase 4(Finale) - They cover it in almond milk and your off

Rating - 6 / 10 (Kellogs has the upperhand here but still a very good treat)

Mlimerick #3

Here a good one that I thought of while having a fight with someone (a girl). Enjoy, as usual comments are welcome

I knew a girl,
Who liked to teach;
Unfortunately she never liked to practice,
What she liked to preach.

Weird Things Just Keep Happening

So this weekend was a good one. My friends from FIT visited and we got a bit drunk. Had a good money conserving nite. Nothing too serious. Also went on a trip to Baldwins High School and did some hiring for the company. Shame I didn't take any pics as it might have been a good idea.

In addition to that, a friend from work also had his birthday and learned a few things about how to roll a joing lol. The ensuing posts will have more on how to do that with help from my internet friends Google and Wikipedia.

PIX
----

Chints talking on the telephono in the new appartment


My drink getting the better of me lol

Thought of the day
-------------------
Fuck Etiquette It's What Makes Managers And What Good Are They Anyways ....

Mlimerick #2

So with the first one comes a new one as well lol. This one is pervy but also one of the first few I developed on my trip to Nandi Hills and back.

Floss
-----
I knew a girl
She tasted sweet

Now I have hair
Between my teeth

Lox

This article on Wikipedia made me miss fish so much. I mean yum. A nice toasted sandwich with this in it.... ooo yummy with some tea and bacon in the morning.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lox

Mlimerick #1

This is the first mlimerick that I will post on here. Before going into the actual content, a mlimerick is a melroy limerick hence the amalgamation. Here goes. BTW this place is open to more mlimericks from people from all over the world so please feel free to email me or comment on these with your own.

Cookies and Milk
-----------------

Cookies and Milk I sat and ate,
Because my stomach told my mind ... not to wait

Superheroes going awry

So I was reading media news on IGN today and found out that Sam Raimi has finally started unveiling the infamous Venom in the upcoming Spiderman movie. For years, Spiderman fans have watched Eddie Brock mutate from the simple jail cell jock into one of the best enemies Spiderman has ever faced. There are some better ones but for now I think Raimi has done a good job. With the recent trend in most of Marvel's normal run comics (The Knights series is an offshoot), its nice to see that Marvel have finally decided to go back to grassroots and pit Spiderman against a good villain. I was hoping for a view of Carnage in the entire misgivings but I think that it would be a bit too much for the writers to incorporate. Also, the inclusion of Topher Grace as Eddie Brock has me a bit confused. I never saw Topher as the bulky muscular kind with the ability to really portray what Stan Lee had in mind.

All I can hope for is an entertaining movie and who knows maybe Sam can pull off another idiotic Spiderman movie (after number 2) and get away with it.

I am an Idiot - An agreement

At this point in time i have consumed no copious amounts of alcohol. But Rahul Chaturvedi born in India at 12:44 am IST Jan 8th 2007 has agreed to be called an idiot once a month for the rest of his natural life as per the terms and agreements setforth in his Alto. He could not tell the difference between Tom Cruise and Christian Bale ... sad i know but its true.

Enjoy Rahul Happy New Year and wait I still have 31 - 7 days to have you proclaim ur an idiot.

Yay ... I want to go to the parade....

MEL

Song of the moment -- I should be so lucky -- Kylie Minogue