Kelly Clarkson - My December

Playlist

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1. Never Again

2. One Minute

3. Hole

4. Sober

5. Don't Waste Your Time

6. Judas

7. Haunted

8. Be Still

9. Maybe

10. How I Feel

11. Yeah

12. Can I Have a Kiss

13. Irvine

When the first American Idol nominated Kelly Clarkson as the winner I wasn't too sure that she'd last in the music business but here she is with a third album to her name. Its not all that great to be honest and if you want to hold onto your manhood i recommend not actually listening to it beacause I almost lost mine. As a pop album, it will do well and the throngs of Clarkson fans out there will be happy to see the girl finally become a woman. 

Overall - 6/10 (Its Kelly Clarkson you can't give her anything under a 5 or Simon will come to your doorstep)

Music Listened to while writing this post - Jewel - Deep Water
Mood - Peachy

The importance of saying Hello

Hello

noun

an expression of greeting; "every morning they exchanged polite hellos"

- Taken from dictionary.com by the complex "Ctrl + C and Ctrl + V" procedure

A typical morning at work for me involves coming into the IBM building and systematically proceeding to my desk. Along the way, I meet people with whom I have exchanged minuscule words and sometimes a quick joke to lighten their moods. The standard approach to greeting a person informally has gone from proper spoken English to grunts and hisses like a pressure valve letting out gas. I usually greet people with a quick Hi or a slightly prolonged Hello followed with the person's first name, last name or their nickname. These days, however, people seem to be following the gangster's guide to showing restekpa (yes i know its spelt wrong) and they only nod or give a chin up. If you happen to chance someone saying Hello to someone else, they must either be too early for work or have nothing better to do at their desk.

Saying Hello probably means nothing to the average man but it can be used in so many efficient ways. Here are a few :-

1. You've woken up from bed and your girlfriend/wife/mistress/the girl you paid to much for is in the kitchen snacking away at your precious nutrition. To avoid conflict and unnecessary morning banter, you say a quick hello how are you? soft kiss on the cheek and voila you have managed to grab the coffee she has made for you along with the newspaper and the bacon on the dish. Don't believe me? Give it a try.

2. Your getting into work and you notice the cunt that has been making your life miserable and smiling about it is coming your way. Wash that mournful look off and say a brisk and polite hello followed by 'how are you today?'. If that doesn't plant the seeds of doubt in the infertile soil resting on the top of your nemesis head, even a radioactive powered bulldozer won't help.

3. Your in the pantry and that extremely cute or vixen-like (if that floats your boat) co-worker is getting a cup of brew before heading back to work. You could start the conversation with your name and that you are interested in her and the size of her mamalons but with the way law is going these days your better off just getting a porn magazine and making sweet love to your right hand. Instead, test the water with a cool Hello, how are you? and just give an acknowledging smile and slight tilt of head. What have you done here? Tested the water, made your entrance and successfully taken a look down her cleavage. (I know ladies I am sorry I did not put a guy in here but believe me I'd have to see a shrink if I did)

4. Your boss is trying to ditch work early and go home to play Xbox 360 with his kid (well ok I know I could have come up with something better) and you notice him from across the floor. You can shout a nice air-filled Hello, Mr XYZ I think Mr. Your-boss-not-mine was looking for you and quickly become the MVP of the floor for that day or week if your lucky.

I could go on and on but I think we can all now agree that no matter how serious I try and get in my writing, I will never be able to do so successfully. Just remember, the best way to make an entry is to find out what you want and work towards making sure no one knows what it is you truly want from them. Hello is one of the safest ways to do so when your in a group because who wants to be rude to someone that is trying very hard to be polite unless your a total ass and really don't care for the niceness of people. Good luck using your new found abilities and remember it takes two to tango and one to get a sexual harassment suit for trying to feel up your HR representative.

Till the next time ... Hello


Music listened to while writing this blog - RHCP - Raodtrippin' (something like that)
Mood - Elated

Whats In A Name - Short Add

I know there are spelling/grammar mistakes... and its gives my writing character so if you are going to comment on that learn to kindly fuck off.

Music while writing this short post - AIN - Rotten Apple
Mood - Indifferent

Whats In A Last Name

"By the power vested in me by the state of jibberish, I pronounce you husband and wife" -- The man every married person learns to curse if things go sour

When your younger, your decision making really isn't your own. Your parents give you everything you need and decide what you shouldn't get eventhough you might truly need it. They look over your shoulder at every step ensuring that you get the things they never got and in addition to this wonderful responsibility, they also manage their hectic lives. However, talking about pressure and responsibility is not the point of this post. The one element of the over-fantasized concept of marriage that I want to talk about is the last name a woman gets when she marries the man/woman of her dreams. I wonder where it is written in stone that a woman needs to adopt a man's last name? I think I missed the memo on where that Holy Grail lies.

The best solution for this problem is to do one of two things

1. Amalgamate the last names
2. Concatenate the last names

Now, lets take each of these and see the pros and cons.

Amalgamation

Althought the process sounds like a super villain out of an Uncanny X-Men comic book, the reality is far from it. Lets take an example to illustrate the phoenetic problem some cultures will have if this goes live.

Eg. John Brown marries Mary Shelly - Their last name becomes Brolly. Sounds a bit mannly but its the concept working as designed.

Now, what kind of good samaritans would we be if we only helped people with western family names? The bad kind. So lets take a quick trip over to the Indian subcontinent for some more Sesame Street fun.

Indian Eg. Ram Chandran marries Prachi Jain. They gets the last name Chanchi. Still not so bad but with the kind of world we live in, its only a matter of time before we deal with intercultural marriages.

IntCul Eg. Melroy Coelho marries Danielle Huntchekova. So we get the last name Coechekova. I am sure my dad and mom would have a fit calling the kids and so would their friends as well but its something that can be worked around.

Along with the problem of last name amalgamation there is another problem which requires time to be injected into the equation. What happens when the kids of last-name-amalgamated-parents (LNAP) get married? Lets find out.

LNAP Kids getting married - Brolly married Chanchi - Brochi.

So amalgamation works out pretty fine and everyone is none the wiser. Lets take care of the next solution which actually sounds more pleasant but causes much more problems.

Concatenation

I know it sounds like a yank-infected chinese cooking style but its actually a method of putting two things together by keeping their original states the same. So in the first example, the last name would become Brown-Shelly and so on. Now, these parents become LNCP - Last Name Concatenated Parents. Everything else holds the same except for the children who get completely screwed and every subsequent generation suffers even more.

eg. Brown-Shelly meets Chandran-Jain and now you have Brown-Shelly-Chandran-Jain and the next batch of kids suffer even more.

Therefore, to avoid all this confusion women should take mens last names. Why? Look at the amount of confusion we had to go through to come to a peaceful amicable solution. Oh and for all you feminists screaming for women's equality and why men can't just take women's last names? When you get the concept of equality right we will talk business. When and if I feel like bashing that concept I will get to it. Melroy Coelho - Out.

Music Listent to while writing this blog - Alice In Chains - I Stay Away

Mood - Happy

Starting verbal arguments when Wireless is availible

We were sitting around the living room yesterday night and talking about David Copperfield (The Illusionist). Now, in a situation where you are seated at a bar, no one would start arguing unless they had information or if they were told by a reliable source (wife/fuckbuddy/etc.). Instead, my roommate simply opens his laptop, goes to google and voila you've got all the information you need. Amazingly, this same scenario has now crept into the bar scenario where people with internet access on their cellphones can now do the exact same thing. Infact, if Bangalore was completely wireless, I could simply open my PSP and go googling or Wiking around the internet for information. Imagine a world where your watch did the same thing? or where your microwave did it too? Soon we will all be connected in some way or the other and it's pretty scary. Where will we run.

 

Crazy world we live in.

 

Music while writing this post - Joan Jett - I Love Rock And Roll
Mood - Generally Happy