The importance of saying Hello

Hello

noun

an expression of greeting; "every morning they exchanged polite hellos"

- Taken from dictionary.com by the complex "Ctrl + C and Ctrl + V" procedure

A typical morning at work for me involves coming into the IBM building and systematically proceeding to my desk. Along the way, I meet people with whom I have exchanged minuscule words and sometimes a quick joke to lighten their moods. The standard approach to greeting a person informally has gone from proper spoken English to grunts and hisses like a pressure valve letting out gas. I usually greet people with a quick Hi or a slightly prolonged Hello followed with the person's first name, last name or their nickname. These days, however, people seem to be following the gangster's guide to showing restekpa (yes i know its spelt wrong) and they only nod or give a chin up. If you happen to chance someone saying Hello to someone else, they must either be too early for work or have nothing better to do at their desk.

Saying Hello probably means nothing to the average man but it can be used in so many efficient ways. Here are a few :-

1. You've woken up from bed and your girlfriend/wife/mistress/the girl you paid to much for is in the kitchen snacking away at your precious nutrition. To avoid conflict and unnecessary morning banter, you say a quick hello how are you? soft kiss on the cheek and voila you have managed to grab the coffee she has made for you along with the newspaper and the bacon on the dish. Don't believe me? Give it a try.

2. Your getting into work and you notice the cunt that has been making your life miserable and smiling about it is coming your way. Wash that mournful look off and say a brisk and polite hello followed by 'how are you today?'. If that doesn't plant the seeds of doubt in the infertile soil resting on the top of your nemesis head, even a radioactive powered bulldozer won't help.

3. Your in the pantry and that extremely cute or vixen-like (if that floats your boat) co-worker is getting a cup of brew before heading back to work. You could start the conversation with your name and that you are interested in her and the size of her mamalons but with the way law is going these days your better off just getting a porn magazine and making sweet love to your right hand. Instead, test the water with a cool Hello, how are you? and just give an acknowledging smile and slight tilt of head. What have you done here? Tested the water, made your entrance and successfully taken a look down her cleavage. (I know ladies I am sorry I did not put a guy in here but believe me I'd have to see a shrink if I did)

4. Your boss is trying to ditch work early and go home to play Xbox 360 with his kid (well ok I know I could have come up with something better) and you notice him from across the floor. You can shout a nice air-filled Hello, Mr XYZ I think Mr. Your-boss-not-mine was looking for you and quickly become the MVP of the floor for that day or week if your lucky.

I could go on and on but I think we can all now agree that no matter how serious I try and get in my writing, I will never be able to do so successfully. Just remember, the best way to make an entry is to find out what you want and work towards making sure no one knows what it is you truly want from them. Hello is one of the safest ways to do so when your in a group because who wants to be rude to someone that is trying very hard to be polite unless your a total ass and really don't care for the niceness of people. Good luck using your new found abilities and remember it takes two to tango and one to get a sexual harassment suit for trying to feel up your HR representative.

Till the next time ... Hello


Music listened to while writing this blog - RHCP - Raodtrippin' (something like that)
Mood - Elated